This post is a little different from normal, but I thought I should start sharing some of the things that I've learned and am learning about myself through this experience. Moving to Australia so far has really opened my eyes to different aspects of my life that I thought I had already figured out. I’ve had a lot of time to myself over the last month as I’m still in the process of adjusting to this new environment and making friends. Something that I have realized is that my perspective on marriage is totally different to what I always thought it was. Before I moved, literally every single person was telling me how excited they were for me and that I was going to find an Australian husband and live happily ever after. I’m not going to lie; I was thinking the exact same thoughts. But I’m just realizing that it really isn’t my focus. I literally just had a meeting with a financial counselor at my uni and the first question she asked me was: “Why did you move to Australia? Did you get married to an Aussie?” Why is it so incredibly crazy that I moved for my own personal reasons (aka I was too cold in Canada and had to get closer to the beach)? I admit that a lot of my life has been focused on the final goal of getting married one day. I really have never had a boyfriend for the sole reason that I wanted to move to Australia and I didn’t want anyone holding me back. When I got to Australia I was like, well I’m here now I guess it’s time for me to find a husband.  But, after developing a better understanding of myself, it’s definitely not the most important thing right now.

Growing up, I always wanted to get married. It was always my top priority. I used to tell myself that if I wasn’t married by the time I was 30, there was something wrong with me and that I would be a total failure. Until recently, that is exactly how I felt, and to be perfectly honest there is still that nagging voice in my head telling me that it’s true. But, being on my own and trying to figure out my own life for the last month has really taught me that I am good on my own. I have developed, or simply just discovered, this whole level of confidence that I didn’t know I had. Although I still am incredibly socially anxious and nervous a lot of the time, the confidence is in there, I just don’t exactly know how to express it.  

Right now, I am doing really well. I do miss my friends and family and do feel a bit lonely at times, but I am happy. It’s so funny how people seem to view marriage as happiness. Like if I were to get married tomorrow it would be seen as me finally finding my happiness. Why can’t being on my own indicate happiness? I have really developed a friendship with myself, which may sound a bit strange, but I get on well with myself. Something that I’ve discovered is that I don’t need a man in my life. I have my own schedule, my own plans for myself and I really like the way that things are going. I’m sure if I met someone that fit into my life and made it even better, then I would be totally open to it. For now though, I am a confident in my singleness (is that even a word? Microsoft Word didn’t underline it so I’m going to go with yes).

It’s so crazy how social constructs control our lives. The literal only reason that I wouldn’t feel confident about not getting married is that I would worry about what others would think. I am completely and totally fine with the idea of being single for the rest of my life. I just wouldn’t want others to look at me as some sort of failure. People tend to look down on women who never marry as failures and blame them – what’s wrong with her? Why doesn’t anybody love her? But people never question her intentions. What if she actually chose to be single? What a shocking concept. I also never want to be someone who settles. I don’t want to eventually marry someone because I feel that I need to in order to please an audience. I am realizing how important it is to live my life for myself. I need to forget about what society wants and focus on what I want. I’m not saying that I’m never going to get married and that I don’t want to. I’m just saying that it isn’t the end of the world if I don’t. Yeah I have dreams about having a husband and kids one day, but I mean if I never find the person that compliments my life perfectly, what’s the point?

            At the moment, the most important thing to me is furthering my own life. I’m focused on finishing my degree, finding an internship, getting a job, etc. There are so many things that I need to do for myself before I have to focus my time on another person. Who decided in the first place that there is a set age for marriage? Even if I were 100% like I absolutely need to get married, I would not want it to be anytime soon. I am still a child (I’m 20, but same thing) I am not prepared to commit the rest of my life to another person.  I just want to have fun, figure my own life out and the rest will just have to happen as it happens. I’m not going to force myself into relationships to please everyone else around me. It’s my life, and the choices that I make are for myself, and myself only.